Title: Blondes in Queensland 
Date: 1-3-00 till 5-03-2000
== please don't archive == 
Dedication: To Pip, because without her Kylie wouldn't be pregnant. 
Authors Notes: Eh... be afraid. Be very afraid. 
~*~*~ 
Blondes in Queensland 
Suz 
~*~*~ 
"Why is it that people always escaping Mt. Thomas go to Queensland?" 
"Because they have more blondes there." 
"*What?*" 
"There are more blondes in Queensland." 
"So?" 
"So that's why people go there." 
"Adam, you're making no sense." 
"Neither do you when you try and blame everything on little grey men." 
"Green men." 
"Would you two shut up?" Nick looked over at the constables who were supposed to be finding out 
where their latest suspect had disappeared to. The most likely spot was Queensland, according 
to Adam. 
"Do you want us to try and find Peterson, or not?" 
"Yes, but quietly." Nick stood and stormed off to make himself a coffee. 
"What's up his nose?" 
"Who knows." Dash shrugged and turned back to her desk as she saw the boss coming through 
the front door. 
"Nice to see you doing some work for a change McKinley." Adam rolled is eyes at Dash and 
followed suit. 

~*~ Later ~*~ 
"He's got this chick in who was visiting Melbourne pregnant." 
"Does the chick have a name?" 
"Umn, Kylie Robinson. Apparently they were in Warrnambool when in happened. She's from 
Queensland I think." 
"Warrnambool?" 
"Yeah, it's this little hick town. Got a pretty high pregnancy rate amongst teenagers 
so I've heard." 
"And she got pregnant there?" 
"Yep!" 
"How old is she?" 
"17, nearly 18." 
"That's pretty young." 
"Well she is *nearly* 18." 
"Nearly?" 
"She's been nearly 18 for a while now though." 
"Oh."
"Yeah, I don't think she's got form." 
"She looks pretty innocent, have a look at her photo." 
"Hmmmm..." Dash whacked Adam lightly on the shoulder. 
"Maybe we should go and talk to her friends." 
"They're in *Queensland*" 
"Nah there's some in Melbourne." 
"Fair enough." 

~*~ Later again... we're at Vanessa's house ~*~ 
*knock* *knock* 
"I don't think anyone's home Adam." 
"I hear a dog barking." 
"It could be out the back." 
"No, there it is." Adam pointed to a dog in the window. 
"Come on..." Dash was becoming increasingly frustrated. "Let's go..." 
"No wait, I hear something." 
Slowly the door opened. 
"Hello?" 
"Hi, we're constables McKinley and..." 
"Cooper," the short young girl interrupted. "Henry!!! Shut-up!" Her shrill voice cautioned 
the still barking dog. 
"You're here about Kylie aren't you?" Dash and Adam exchanged a glance. "She's really not 
that innocent you know. After all, she *has* been to Warny?" The girl stepped back and 
allowed the two constables to enter. 
"Warny?" Adam whispered to Dash questioningly. 
"Warrnambool." 
"Sorry I took so long to open the door. I was watching Neighbours." 
"The early years?" Dash looked excited. 
"Yep, Guy Pearce was on screen so there was no way I was moving." Dash nodded. "So, what do 
you want to know about Kylie? Wizz Fizz? Milo?" She offered them a packet of Wizz Fizz each 
from a bundle in huge plastic bag full of it. 
"Got enough?" Adam surveyed the bag. 
"Umn yeah," she grinned. "Suz swears a lot." 
"I know I shouldn't ask but..." Vanessa sighed and took a breath. 
"We-ll, we were talking on the phone I think it was and Suz kept swearing, so then she 
said for every swear word she'll buy me a single packet of Wizz Fizz, it went for about 
4 days. I got about 90 packets." 
"Is this the Suz that lives in Warrnambool?" 
"Yeah, explains a lot really." Adam and Dash shrugged. "She'll be back in Melbourne this
 afternoon I think." She reached out and took back the two unopened packets of Wizz Fizz 
and dropped them back in the bag. "What's Kylie done?" 
"She's pregnant." 
"REALLY?? That must have happened in Warny." The girl grew increasingly excited. "What's that 
got to do with you guys?" 
"We want the guy who got her pregnant." 
"And you think I might know?" 
"We were hoping." 
"I didn't even know she was pregnant." She shrugged and moved from behind the kitchen counter 
and returned to the television set where the ad break had finished and Kylie and Jason had 
returned. "I really don't think I'm much help. D might be though." 
"Kylie stayed with her whilst visiting Melbourne didn't she?" 
"Yep, her and Sim corrupted her." Her gaze didn't leave the screen. "But Sim and D are dodgy,
 especially together. But then again Sim lives in Moe. She'll probably come back to Melbourne
 soon too. She has a habit of doing that." 
"What?" 
"Being dodgy and being in Melbourne. Being with D too. D might know how she got pregnant. 
She's pretty into Sex in a Can." 
"Sex in a Can?" 
"Don't ask me, D will explain. I think it originated in Warny." She was still glued to the 
TV screen. 
"Thanks for your help." The girl didn't respond for several moments then jumped to life as 
the closing credits began rolling. 
"No problem." She walked them to the door. 
"We might be in touch." 
"Sure thing," She closed the door behind them, then re-opened it. "Oh Adam?" He turned to 
face her. "You really shouldn't have ripped those photos up, you look really good in 
handcuffs." She grinned and shut the door. 
~*~ Outside ~*~ 
"Well that was an experience." Adam tried to avoid the topic he was certain that Dash was 
going to bring up as they climbed in the car. 
"Handcuffs?" 
"Shall we go and talk to this D girl?" 
"Handcuffs?" 
"Dash, just leave it will you?" 
"It's the photography woman isn't it?" 
"Yes, now drop it will you?" Dash, for the first time in her life decided against pursuing 
the gossip. After all, it was a while ago now. "So who is this D person?" 
"Dianna Turnley, but only her Mum calls her that. She's Vanessa's evil twin." 
"So she's just like that one we just saw?" 
"Yeah, only more evil." Adam's only response was to groan and toot as he went under the 
bridge. 

~*~ At D's place ~*~ 
"Hello?" A girl as equally short as Vanessa opened the door and peered out. 
"Hi, we're constables McKinley and..." 
"Cooper..." she also interrupted. "Jess, shhh" And then also scolded her dog. 
"Come in." The door opened a little wider and the two constables stepped around the rather 
large dog. "This is about Kylie, isn't it?" 
"Did Vanessa ring you?" 
"No, why?" 
"No reason. So, what do you know about Kylie?" 
"Wizz Fizz, Milo?" She offered them the same as Vanessa. 
"You haven't got as many packets as Vanessa does." 
"Yeah I know, these are hers. Actually, they're really mine. I bought them when Suz and Sim 
where here when Ven was coming back from America. Then Suz "accidentally" stole them. Then
 her and Ven had this bet thing going about swearing so then Ven had to give some of hers 
to me." 
"Oh," Dash and Adam both looked rather confused. "So, what do you know about Kylie?" 
"I think she got pregnant in Warny. That's Warrnambool by the way, it's got more pubs than 
people." She laughed. "Actually, it hasn't. Warny grows by the day too many people getting 
pregnant." 
"Kylie is pregnant and we want the guy that got her pregnant." 
"It was Sex in a Can that got her pregnant. At least that's what I think." 
"What is this Sex in a Can?" 
"Simple, Sex. In a Can." She smiled at them. "And you can re-use the protection too." She 
laughed and poured some milk into her Milo. "You sure you don't want one?" Adam and Dash 
both shook their heads. 
"So Peterson didn't get Kylie pregnant?" 
"Who's Peterson? If it wasn't Sex in a Can it could have been Dawson... or Pacy..." 
"What?" 
"Excuse me," she reached out to the ringing telephone. "Hello?" T
here was a small silence. "THIRTY-TWO!!!!!!!!!! hang on a sec." 
"Thirty-two?" 
"Yeah sorry, it's Suz, I think she's letting me know she's at the train station. Won't be 
long." 
Dianna turned back to the phone and began laughing. Adam and Dash looked at each other and 
became slightly worried. 
~~ Several minutes and a few hundred "Thirty-two's" later ~~ 
"Sorry about that." The ecstatic D finally hung up the phone. "That was Suz, she'll be here 
in about 5 minutes." 
"So, do you think you can help us?" 
"With what?" She looked rather confused. 
"Kylie." Dash sighed, she was becoming rather impatient. 
"I don't know how you expect me to help you." 
"We just want to know a few things about her." 
"But why?" D began to question their motives. "It's not her you're after is it?" 
"Well, no..." Adam trailed off. 
"But...?" Dianna lent forward intrigued, what *was* it that they wanted. Not that she minded
 of course Adam could stay as long as he liked. 
"We're kinda sucked in about this Kylie girl." 
"She's not as innocent as everyone says you know." She ripped open a packet of Wizz Fizz 
and swore as a little bit spilt. "Just ask Suz." 
As if on cue the doorbell rang and a voice called out. 
"69!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Adam and Dash looked at each other and became rather worried. 
"That's Suz," D attempted to explain. She stepped over the dog who had long since collapsed
 in the doorway and went to fetch Suz. 

~*~* Meanwhile, back in Mt. Thomas ~*~*~ 
"Have Cooper and McKinley been in touch?"
"No Boss, sorry." Nick was far from sorry. It was rather peaceful without the two young 
constables chatting away the entire time. Although it did leave him short of people to 
torment considering Maggie was spending an awful lot of time in the Detective's office.

~*~* Back in Melbourne, still at D's place, Suz is there ~*~*

"So, did Kylie get pregnant in Warrnambool?" Suz shrugged at the response.
"I'm really not sure, there's not that much else to do. She doesn't drink and she's not 18, 
so I'm really not sure."
"But she was staying with you."
"So?" Suz nudged D, who was busy drooling over Adam, with her elbow.
"What did you do when she was with you?"
"Um, not much. We watched a few videos. She wouldn't steal Sim's sign with me and we 
played Mini Golf. That's really about it."
"No Sex in a Can?"
"Yeah, like I said, she doesn't drink." Suz shrugged dis-believingly. 
"Thanks for you help." Dash became eager to leave. She grabbed Adam and scurried out the 
door stepping over the dog who was still collapsed from before. "We'll be in touch."
D and Suz followed them to the door and watched them walk down the driveway.
"Hey Adam!" D called him as they reached the car.  He turned to face her, fearing the worst. 
"You wouldn't happen to have a copy of those photo's you ripped up would you? You look
 fantastic in handcuffs."
Embarrassed Adam got in the car as Dash and Suz laughed.

~*~ In the Car on the way back to Mt. Thomas ~*~
"So what now?"
"I say we leave it, they don't know who Peterson is."
"Yeah, but I think this Kylie chick is the key to it all."
"I think you're grasping at straws Adam."
"But Dash, let's just get in touch with a few more people and see where it takes us?"
"Great, the Boss is just going to love us."

~*~ Mt. Thomas Station ~*~

"Hi, this is Constable Dash McKinley. Can I please speak to a Simone Wolski?"
"She's not drunk again is she?"
"No, I just need to have a chat with her."
"You can't."
"Why is that?" 
"She's out."
"When will she be back?"
"I'm really not sure, I think she's gone to Melbourne... again."
"Okay, thanks for your help." Dash hung up the phone, frustrated and turned to Adam. "She's 
in Melbourne."
"Damn, what about this girl. We could phone her?" Adam pointed to a picture of a small 
blonde girl.
"Who's she?"
"Philippa Davie. Better known as Pip, she's in Queensland and she's blonde I might add."
"What's she got to do with it?"
"She's friends with Kylie and catches up with her a bit I think. She also knows those three
 we met in Melbourne."
"I guess we could give it a try."
"Or there's this girl." Adam brought out several photos' of a sometimes blonde and 
sometimes brunette who was striking a pose in each picture.
"Who's *that*?" Dash studied the picture.
"Rachael."
"And?"
"And, she lives in Canada. She's from Brisbane originally though. She knows them all too." 
Adam read from the scraps of paper lying on his desk.
"What's the deal, they know people everywhere."
"Tell me about it. So, shall we ring her?"
"I guess..." Dash sat down as Adam picked up the phone. "Wait!" He jerked suddenly as Dash 
slapped her hand over the phone.
"What?"
"Time difference!"
"Oh yeah... what is the difference?" Adam and Dash both looked dumbfounded as Nick entered 
from the Boss' office.
"Deirdre, you better be careful, if the wind changes your face may just stay like that."
"Shut-up Nick." She threw him a disgusted look and spun around to face her desk. "Hey Nick?"
 He looked up at her. "What time would it be in Calgary?"
"What sort of question is that?"
"What time is it in Calgary, Canada that is."
"They're six hours ahead of us, yesterday."
"Thanks!" Dash spun back to her desk and began scribbling on a piece of paper.
"Hey Dash?" Cooper sounded confused.
"Yep?" Dash was still scribbling intensely at her desk.
"What time does it make it now?"
"Well, it's 3 pm here... so," she looked at her piece of paper. "9 pm last night."
"Right." Adam still looked confused. 
"Let give her a call."

~*~ An igloo in Canada ~*~
"Hello?" 
"RACHAEL!!!!!!!!!!" Rachael came to the phone. "It's some Australian cop wanting to speak to 
you."
"Thanks." Rachael took the phone from her sister and spoke into it tentatively. "Hello?"
"Hi, this is Constable McKinley from Mt. Thomas in Australia. Also on the line is Constable..."
"Cooper."
"Um yes. We were just wanting to know what you know about Kylie."
"She's been in Warny hasn't she?"
"Yeah," Dash was trying to work out what kind of accent this girl actually did have.
"Did she get pregnant there?"
"Actually she did."
"Casey, *shut-up*... sorry, the dog was barking."
"That's okay. So what can you tell us about Kylie?"
"Well, she's not at all innocent. Well from what I've heard anyway."
"Why do you say that?"
"I dunno," Rachael shrugged even though they couldn't see her. "She's a bit dodgy, that's all. 
I highly doubt she'd do anything illegal." Rachael quickly jumped to her so-called friends 
defense. 
"You don't seem to be protecting her all that much. Why is that?"
"I am, I mean I'm not. Oh I don't know. I've never even met her."
"I guess you're not really much help then?"
"Probably not. I am going to meet her sometime soon though."
"Thanks for your help."
"Whatever." Rachael hung up the phone and went back to watching X-Files.

~*~ Mt. Thomas, yet again ~*~
"What a weird accent." Dash hung up the phone.
"It was... she was no help. Maybe we can try this Pip person."
"Maybe..."

~*~ Somewhere in Melbourne ~*~
"Wizz Fizz?" D offered Vanessa and Suz each a packet, both accepting and ripping the packet 
open as if they'd done it a billion times before. When in actual fact was the case, but 
anyway...
"I wonder what the deal is with Kylie?"
"Who knows, shit." Suz swore as she spilt some Wizz Fizz on her pants. "Back in a sec, just
 gotta change my pants." Vanessa and D began laughing as Suz made her way up the stairs 
tripping twice in the process.
"Did you tape Felicity last night?" D nodded and pushed play on the VCR as they waited for 
Suz to fall back down the stairs and Sim to arrive.

~*~ We're in Mt. Thomas... surprised? ~*~
"So, what did Pip have to say?" Adam came back in through the front door after being called
 out with Nick.
"She's weirder than them all. She was on the bathroom floor when I was talking to her."
"Um, I don't think I want to know."
"No, you don't. But Pip said that Kylie is the most sensible of her and a few other Brisbane 
girls."
"Are they blonde?"
"Who?"
"The Brisbane girls?"
"I don't know. But anyway," Dash shook her head. "Kylie definitely *is* pregnant."
"Okay, I thought we knew that for sure."
"But Pip had her baby."
"What?"
"I didn't get it either, I thought she was serious for a second. But then she started 
laughing and told me everything."
"So?"

~*~ Back in Melbourne, I'll leave you and Adam in suspense for a bit ~*~

"I think I hear a dodgy." Vanessa and D turned to see Suz trip down the stairs on her way 
back from changing her pants.
"What took you?"
"I washed my hands, by the way, I think Sim is here." D was up in a flash, and 
extra-ordinary event, and at the door.
"SIM!"
"D!" There were excited squeals from the door as Sim and D were re-united once again.
Vanessa and Suz backed away slowly and headed to the television to watch Cosi or another 
equally dodgy Australian movie. 


~*~ Back in Mt. Thomas - I'm not cruel enough to keep you in suspense for too long, besides 
I don't wanna know what happened at D's place next... ~*~
"So that's all?" Adam looked disappointed.
"Yeah," Dash shrugged and put on her jacket ready to go home. "A bit disappointing really, 
wasn't it?"
"Yeah, wanna beer at the pub?"
"Sure, why not."  Adam and Dash headed toward the door.
"Cooper, McKinley." They turned to face Nick. "Have you found Peterson yet?"
"No, but we found out about all these Blondes in Queensland though."
"Really?"
"Yeah, come on, we'll tell you all about it at the pub."

== The End == for now anyway.
Prologue:
See, you didn't have to wait that long...

"Hey Chrissie!" The three coppers entered the pub. "Who's that?" Dash indicated a brunette 
behind the bar.
"It's Kylie Robinson, she's working for a few days before she heads back to Queensland." All 
three chuckled as they took a seat.
"See Adam. I told you she wasn't really pregnant." Adam looked over as Kylie took a sip out 
of a can labeled "Sex in a Can".
"Not for long..."
"I wonder if she'll name it Tarzan?" Murmured Dash as she took a sip of her orange juice.

== The actual End, I think ==